Breaking News: The Ball Cruncher announces that he will be coming out of retirement
The Ball Cruncher is back, and no food is safe. The Ball Cruncher burst onto the Competitive Eating Scene in the summer of '05 to compete in his first and only IFOCE (International Federation of Competitive Eaters) event, the Salty Ball Championships in Wildwood, NJ. Finishing in a disappointing who knows what place, he retired to his small farm in the pinelands to chop wood and contemplate what could have been.
Yesterday at 10:33 AM eastern standard time, the ball cruncher announced that he will be competing in the a preliminary event for the 14th Annual Sold Out Virgin Wing Bowl in Philadelphia where over 25,000 people are slated to be in attendance. The prelim event will be at Lucy's bar on Market Street in Old City. It will go down at 10 pm on Jan 26th. The actual wing bowl will be on Feb. 3rd at 6 am.
The Ball Cruncher is looking for a new name, as he will be eating wings and not potato balls this time. So far WingTut and WingNut are the leading names. Please submit suggestions to the comments section of this site.
Winner this year gets a Grand Vitara (I really could use a new car). Second place gets a trip to Cancun.
For some records and rankins check out:
http://www.ifoce.com/
posted by Elliott at 10:56 AM
5 Comments:
Correction, over 50 G's are going to be in attendance. Scalped tickets are now going for 45 beans.
I am sure your mother will be proud...not everyone raises a competitive eater!
I'm thinking Wing Tut. Wardrobe of a crown, a long silk robe(with http://www.freudianslipsincreativewriting.blogspot.com embroidered on the back), some eye candy flanking you, and Steve Martins song as them music. Wing Tut! How did you get so Gunky. Gunky Tut. They say you did the wing thing? Gunky Tut. Got an esophagus made of stone-a. Gunky Tut! Seriously, good luck.
Oh really. Lucky for me, you pansy hiding behind an annonymous post, No former winner are allowed in this year. That also includes any pro eaters. I guess we will see on the 5th of Feb.
Corretion the 3rd
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